Totally Insane Randomness
by Become One With Russia
Summary: Random stuff with me and the DOOM characters. No plot, no lemon, totally random.


Totally Insane Randomness With Me And The DOOM Characters

DOOM Fangirl: "Zero points for originality, people! These are all quotes from things I saw, but I thought it might be fun to put them with the DOOM characters and myself. I added and changed and cut out parts from these quotes to make them fit in. No plot, whatsoever! I have writers block, so…yeah. And that next chapter of "Jealousy Can Lead To Bad Things, Dude!" most likely won't be out until at least tomorrow. Anyways, enjoy!"

Disclaimer: I OWN NONE OF THIS!

NOTE: The characters in this are: Dartz, Raphael, Alister, Valon, Mai, and Laura (that's me!). I just decided to pair myself with Dartz in this. I have no idea why.

NOTE 2: I don't know what half these things are from, really. However, anyone who can correctly guess where I got the quotes from in "**About To Be Killed…**", "**Cream Cheese…**", and **"Dartz's Punishment" **from will get a cookie!

Now, on with it!

**Vatican City…**

Valon: "Oi! Check this out!" (puts on the Pope's hat)

Alister: "Valon…take…off…the Pope's hat!"

Valon: "Oh, 's okay-'M Catholic!"

Alister: "Valon, take it OFF, Goddamnit!"

Valon: "Oh, no, Al! Ya took da Lord's name in vain! Only I can forgive ya, now."

Alister: "JUST TAKE THAT FUCKING THING OFF!"

**At therapy…**

Valon: "I-I saw a gay porno. I didn't even KNOW till 'alf-way in. The sheilas…they neva came…THEY NEVA CAME!"

**Dicks…**

Mai: "I've never see more dicks anywhere else; not even at a nude beach!"

**Vacuum…**

Alister: "Valon, you are a perfect example of a vacuum cleaner-loud, annoying, and sucks everything up."

**About To Be Killed…**

Raphael: "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks AND blows!"

_(Remember: Cookie for whoever can correctly guess where this came from!)_

**Alister's Friend…**

Alister: "Say 'hello' to my little friend!"

Ziggurat Tank: (attacks)

**Quick Question…**

Dartz: "Darling, are we going to be saying original lines, or are we just going to keep quoting things?"

Laura: "Quotes."

_(Note: This was NOT a quote-it was just random.)_

**Boring…**

Mai: "Oh, wait! I just remembered something, Valon; you're BORING, and my legs WORK!" (leaves)

**Trying To Defuse A Time Bomb…**

Raphael: "Hold on! I've got a text-message."

Alister: "RAPH! This bomb is about to EXPLODE!"

Raphael: "Just a sec…" (looks at phone) "It's from Laura. She says, if we survive, we're having spaghetti for dinner."

Valon: "AWRIGHT! THA' MEANS GARLIC BREAD!"

Alister: "WHO CARES?"

**WTF…**

Alister: (singing) "Don't get strung-out…By the way I look…Don't judge a book by it's cover…I may not be much of a man…By the light of day…But, by night, I'm one hell of a lover…I'M JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE!"

Valon: (rolling around on the floor, laughing his head off)

Raphael: "What…the fuck…was that?"

Alister: "I don't know."

**All I Have…**

Dartz: "Darling, you can have ANYTHING you wish."

Laura: "REALLY?"

Dartz: "Of course, Dear! But, DO try to keep it under a billion; that's all that I have…WITH me."

**Something Raphael Doesn't Know…**

Alister: "This guy's LYING to us."

Raphael: "Tell me something I DON'T know!"

Alister: "I open-mouthed kissed a horse, once."

Raphael: "What?"

Alister: "THAT was something you DIDN'T know."

**Surely, Shirley…**

Dartz: "Surely, you can't be serious."

Valon: "I AM serious! …An' DON'T call me, 'Shirley'."

**Idea…**

Valon: "Now, le's all get drunk, an' play ping-pong!"

**Cream Cheese…**

Mai: "Look out! Getting' HIGH on the cream cheese!"

_(Remember: Cookie for whoever can correctly guess where this came from!)_

**WTF 2...**

Alister: (drunk to high-heaven) 'I'd like to go down on YOU, SUCK you, maybe get Raphael and Dartz, and have a four-some. Oh, yeah!"

Valon: "Get away from me, ya queer! I'm STRAIGHT! I like the sheilas!"

**Nightmare…**

Alister: (dreaming that he's running from tanks, screaming out loud) "HELP ME, JESUS! HELP ME, JEHOVAH! HELP ME, ALLAH! HELP ME, RA! HELP ME, ZEUS! HELP ME, JUPITER! HELP ME, MOHAMED! HELP ME, BUHDA! HELP ME, GREAT LEVIATHIN! HELP ME, OPRAH!"

**Dartz's Punishment…**

Dartz: "I no longer even WONDER how I'm still alive, because it is MY belief that I died long ago, and THEY…" (gestures at Valon, Alister, and Raphael) "…are my eternal punishment."

_(Remember: Cookie for whoever can correctly guess where this came from!)_

DOOM Fangirl: "That's all. Like I said, no points for originality, or anything else, really. I just felt like doing this. Please review, and please don't flame. Remember: if you can guess correctly for those three, you get a cookie! I don't need to know who said it; just what it's from. Later!'


End file.
